The Cubed Circle
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We have a huge issue for you this week, including an
in-depth review of the WWE Elimination Chamber pay-per view, as well as a great
Raw from this week. As always your feedback is always welcomed, either via the
comments section, e-mail or the many social networks available, more on that in
the “contact” section of the newsletter.
WWE Elimination
Chamber 2012 Review
Overall Show
Thoughts:
Overall the show was good, but it was still on the low end
when it comes to Elimination Chamber shows. The chamber matches were good, but
they didn’t live up to the standard of past chamber matches. I also wasn’t a
big fan of the structure and pacing of the show, with the WWE Championship
match going on first and the Kane vs. Cena match going on last.
I wouldn’t say that the show was easy to sit through, with
parts of the Raw and Smackdown chamber and the Kane/Cena match dragging. The
show wasn’t bad and was better than the Rumble, but like the Rumble show, it
didn’t live up to the standards set by previous shows.
1. RAW Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Championship
CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz vs.
R-Truth vs. Dolf Ziggler
This was the match for the WWE championship, theoretically
the most important thing in the company and it went on first, I can not think
of any reasonable explanation for this. There is a need for gaps between
chambers, I understand, but to put the WWE championship match on first just
comes across as stupid to me. Punk and Kingston started the match off, Kingston
leapfrogged over the top rope and nearly killed himself, they began to exchange
pinfalls and chain wrestle. Punk took a terrible looking big back body drop on
the steel, the first of many. Punk catapulted Kingston into a pod and hit a big
suplex on the outside. Dolf Ziggler was the next entrant, he did pull ups on
the chain link and then delivered a leg drop on Punk on the steel. Kingston and
Punk both went for springboard clotheslines and collided in midair. R-Truth was
the next entrant, he came out hiptossing Ziggler over the top rope onto the
floor and then landed a dive over the top, another brutal spot. Truth hit the
scissors kick on Ziggler, who kicked out at two, Punk hit the knee on Truth who
was perched on the top turnbuckle and hit a superplex for two. Kingston went
for Trouble in Paradise, but he was thrown over the top rope, Punk went to the
top rope for the Savage elbow and taunted Jericho who was still in his pod,
Punk hit the elbow on Truth for three. Kingston hit the Trouble in Paradise on
Punk, but he was thrown over the top rope by Ziggler, Ziggler then covered Punk
for two. Kingston leaped onto the chain link and hit a tornado DDT on Ziggler
it looked absolutely brutal, the crowd chanted holy s***. Miz entered at around
the thirteen minute mark which meant at this point they weren’t even hiding the
fact that they weren’t keeping to the five minute allocated time. Punk was
rammed head first into a pod by Miz. Ziggler then crashed against the steel
floor once again, as he was thrown over the top rope by Miz. Miz pushed
Kingston off the top rope to the floor and rolled him back into the ring for
two. Miz went for the clothesline in the corner on Punk, but mistimed his steps
or misjudged his force, so he had to hit him twice with two flimsy
clotheslines. Miz went for the skull crushing finale, Punk countered, but Miz
hit a DDT for two. Punk hit a scoopslam and transitioned into the anaconda
vice, but Jericho’s pod opened at around the 17 minute mark, which meant that
their was even more match time manipulation to be had. Jericho broke up the
submission, Punk and Jericho then faced off and began to trade strikes. Jericho
attempted to lock in The Walls of Jericho, but Punk countered it into the GTS,
Jericho was able to reverse it and hit a running bulldog and a lionsault for
two. Ziggler went for a rollup on Jericho, but Jericho hit a big code breaker
and eliminated Ziggler. Punk was catapulted over the top onto the steel grating
by Jericho. Punk rammed Jericho into a pod over and over again, until Jericho
locked himself in an empty pod. Punk forced open the pod and began to unload on
Jericho, but Jericho rammed Punk between the door and wrenched on the arm of
Punk. Miz hit a big tornado DDT on Kingston on the steel. Miz went for a
clothesline on Kingston, but Kingston hit caught him with a boot and went to
the top rope. But, Miz climbed up and set Kingston up for the superplex, Punk
then came and grabbed Punk for what I thought was the usual multiman
suplex/powerbomb, but he hit a powerbomb on Miz for two. Kingston went to the
top pod and hit a crossbody onto Miz and Punk, in what was one of the safest
spots in the match. Jericho locked in the Walls of Jericho and eliminated him
just moments after his big spot. Jericho threw Kingston over the top rope and
continued to beat on him after he was eliminated. He then threw Kingston out of
the chamber, but Punk kicked Jericho in the head knocking him out of the
chamber. He held onto the chamber door as he was kicked out, but he “knocked a
camera man down” so you couldn’t really see the fall that well. Doctors came
out to look at Jericho, it went on for minutes. Miz attempted to take out Punk
with a neckbreaker, but Punk hit a big kick on Miz, Miz kicked out at two. Punk
hit his knee in the corner and bulldog for two, he went for the springboard
clothesline, but Miz countered it into the skull crushing finale for two in a
great near fall. Miz unloaded on Punk in the corner, Miz went head first into
the post as Punk moved out of the way of the clothesline. Punk then hit the GTS
on Miz to retain the title in 32:38. I think that the crowd really expected
Jericho to come back, but he didn’t and I guess it was the best thing for their
Mania match so I was fine with it. They could have used a slightly more
convincing bump, especially given the bumps that we had in the match. The match
itself I would say was a below par chamber match, with too much time shaving,
parts that dragged and a anticlimactic finish.
*** ½
The showed footage of the battle royal from Smackdown, Orton
getting concussed as well as Santino winning the battle royal. They cut
backstage to Santino who was preparing to drink raw eggs, in a Rocky spoof. He
drank the eggs and then began to gag.
We had another John Cena Mania hype video, showing Cena
training with developmental talent. Tyler Black as well as Consequences Creed
were there, a developmental talent was shown lifting a huge amount of weight as
everyone in the gym (including Cena) marked out. Everyone in the gym put over
Cena and how much of a nice guy he was and how hard he trains. Cena said that
the Rock and him would see what happens when the second bell rings and he takes
on Cena. Good promo.
2. WWE Diva’s Championship Match
Beth Phoenix vs. Tamina Snuka
Phoenix taunted and slapped the chest of Snuka. Snuka took a
bad looking bump on the outside before Phoenix began to work on the neck of
Snuka. Snuka got out and hit a Samoan drop and went up to the top rope for the
Superfly splash, but she was halted by Phoenix who delivered a superplex. They
exchanged strikes, Tamina hit a Mongolian chop and landed chops to the chest of
Phoenix. Tamina hit a splash in the corner and landed a big super kick, she
went to the top and hit the Superfly splash, but Phoenix kicked out. This was
supposed to get over the strength and toughness of Phoenix, but I would have
liked to have seen the move built up better during the weeks leading up to the
Elimination Chamber PPV. Regardless it made Phoenix look strong, after Tamina’s
head met the turnbuckle Phoenix hit the Glamslam for the win in 7:16. Hopefully
this will set up a match with Kharma at WrestleMania, it would make sense given
the lack of depth on the women’s roster, plus it is probably the only women’s
match in the WWE that people would care to see right now. This match was good
by Diva’s standards and I was impressed with Tamina.
**
They showed a B.A. Star commercial with David Arquette and
his crew, while emo music played in the background, it has been done and said to
death no comment. They showed another Santino skit, he was punching some deli
meat (presumably ham) he gave it the cobra. Josh Matthews was sitting in front
of the doctors who were attending to Jericho. This was a double swerve, but
that isn’t my issue, don’t the WWE realize, know or care about the situation
with Jesse Sorensen? Because this really did come across as insensitive towards
the issue.
Out came Laurinaitis and Otunga, Laurinaitis said that Teddy
Long should be subjected to the same scrutiny as him, out came Alberto Del Rio.
The fact that they wasted this surprise on a segment like this baffled me. Del
Rio said that Long was nothing but a corrupt, good for nothing, piece of trash
and Laurinaitis should become GM of Raw and Smackdown. Out came Henry, another
hollow surprise, he said that Long was a bully in a funny line that didn’t get
a reaction. He said that Long physically assaulted him and just like the good
guy that he is he was fooled by Long and wrongly suspended. Henry said that
Laurinaitis and him and never seen eye to eye, but he has never seen him abuse
his power and he in not a bully. Out came Christian in an absolutely stupid
move, when you have such a lack of talent and depth in the Smackdown chamber
why would you waste Christian here, surely his return could have made for a
much bigger return at some point. Laurinaitis gave Christian a hug, Christian
said that he would have been champion if it wasn’t for Long, he said that Orton
faked and injury and Big Show tried to break his [Christian’s] neck. He said
that he will still be forced to compete in this unsafe working environment, so
he will join Laurinaitis, haven’t we seen this before? Otunga took a group
picture. I was actually baffled that the return of Christian and Del Rio were wasted
on this segment, why would you waste a return for the chamber or a big moment on TV here. Well we could get a
match at Mania, but even if we do, this seemed like a waste.
We had a trailer for Mania. Santino was shown running up the
stares in another Rocky spoof. Josh Matthews interviewed Big Show, he asked
about his WrestleMania track record and if it was important for him to walk
into WrestleMania as champion, really? Big Show said that he has had over 4000
matches, but he has a bad WrestleMania record, he said that he has to walk out
as World Heavyweight Champion.
3. Smackdown Elimination Chamber Match
Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. The Great
Khali vs. Big Show vs. Santino Marella
The fact that you had two possible surprises in Christian
and Del Rio to use in this match, who would have gotten big reaction and would
have made the match far better, but instead they decided to put the Great Khali
in, boggled my mind. The fact that Khali was in the match and Christian and Del
Rio were in the other boggles my mind even further. Big Show and Barrett
started off, Barrett took the Big Show down with kicks, Barrett began to work
on the leg of the Big Show, but Big Show began to fire back and landed a big
suplex into the ring. Big Show threw Barrett over the top rope to the outside
and stood on him, Cody Rhodes entered, but Big Show remained dominant ramming
Barrett into the side of the chamber and chopping Rhodes. Big Show threw Rhodes
into the side of the chamber, but Rhodes clipped the injured leg of the Big
Show and brought him down. Big Show began to make his comeback, but he was
struck with a high low from Rhodes and Barrett, they started to work on the Big
Show again, but Barrett clotheslined Rhodes over the top rope to the outside.
Rhodes was rammed into the chamber by Barrett, was next to enter, however this
time the clock was late. Santino unloaded on Barrett hitting head butts and
shaking the ropes. He was then face to face with the Big Show, who hit chops in
the corner and threw Santino across the ring, before being clipped by Rhodes
again. Big Show chopped Rhodes and threw him over the top rope onto the steal
along with Barrett. Show pointed at Bryan’s pod as the crowd chanted for
Santino, Big Show was double suplexed on the outside by Barrett and Rhodes.
There were light boring chants throughout the crowd. Rhodes then hit a great
moonsault on a standing Barrett, Rhodes continued to ram Santino against the
chamber arm first. Khali entered, he chopped Barrett and took out Rhodes, he
hit the Punjabi Plunge on Rhodes and Barrett. He chopped Santino, but Big Show
nailed Khali with a spear for the elimination, thank god they got him out
early. Show stared at Bryan once again in the pod, Show managed to get his hand
through the top of the pod as Bryan began to cower in absolute terror. Big
Show, as Big as he is climbed through the top of the pod and began to unload on
Bryan, who was trapped in the pod. Big Show continued to choke Bryan with the
knee until the pod opened, Bryan ran, but he was thrown through a pod by Big
Show. Bryan kept getting up, but Big Show rammed him into the corner and hit a
shoulder block, he then signaled for the chokeslam. He hit the chokeslam on
Bryan, but Barrett hit a big boot and kneed Show to the outside. Santino went
for a pin on Barrett, but he kicked out at two, in retaliation Barrett threw
Marella over the top rope down to the steel. Rhodes hit a beautiful disaster
kick on Big Show from the side of the chamber, back in the ring Rhodes hit a
DDT on Big Show and Barrett nailed an elbow. Rhodes covered the Big Show for
the elimination in the 22nd minute. Straight after Rhodes got the
elimination, Santino rolled him up and eliminated him in the 23rd
minute, but Rhodes laid Santino out with Cross Rhodes after he was eliminated.
Barrett covered Santino, but he kicked out, in hindsight this was a great near
fall in the context of the match. In retaliation Barrett threw Santino over the
top, after ramming Santino into the side of the chamber, Barrett tied Santino
up in the chain link and began to kick him. Bryan went to the top, but messed
up, instead he hit a crucifix on Barrett for two. Bryan attempted to lock in
the LaBell lock, but Barrett countered and attempted to lock in a submission,
but Bryan was able to escape and landed kicks on Barrett. Bryan was hung up on
the top rope and clotheslined by Barrett, Barrett slammed Bryan against the
chamber and squeezed the head and neck of Bryan in the door. Barrett went for
Wasteland on Santino, Santino was able to hold on, but he was big booted to the
outside. Bryan landed a big knee from the top rope on Barrett and proceeded to
ram Barrett’s head against the chamber, just like Barrett had done to Bryan
moments earlier. Bryan went to the top rope once more, but Barrett pushed him
off, Bryan went through a pod, while still perched on the top rope. Barrett
went for the Wasteland from the top rope, but it was broken up by Santino.
Santino went for a superplex, he was shoved off, Barrett went for an elbow, but
he missed. Bryan proceeded to land a diving headbutt on Barrett, who was pinned
by Santino Marella, in a pretty surprising elimination. Bryan laughed and
smiled at the thought of being the last remaining man along with Santino. Bryan
Irish-whipped Santino into the corner and stared at him with psychotic eyes,
Bryan kicked Santino and hit a buzz saw kick, but in a great near fall that
really got the crowd into the match Santino kicked out. Santino got a roll up,
Bryan kicked out, Bryan went for the headbutt from the top, but Santino got out
of the way and hit the cobra, everyone was on their feet jumping up and down
honestly believing that Santino Marella would become the Heavyweight Champion
of the World. But, Bryan kicked out at two, Bryan locked in the LaBell lock it
looked like Santino was going to break it, the crowd went insane, but Bryan
locked it in deeper and Santino tapped at 34:03. The last five minutes of the match were great, especially the
surprisingly great segment at the end with Bryan and Santino, probably due to
the ability of Bryan and the charisma of Santino. However the rest of the match
really dragged, Bryan came out last, which fitted well with his gimmick, but it
hampered the match. The match was good and it was the best match on the show,
but for chamber standards it was weak.
*** ½
Sheamus came out after the match and confronted Bryan, Bryan
attempted to fight back, but Sheamus hit the Celtic Cross (Referring to Fit
Finlay’s over the shoulder back to belly piledriver) which seems to be his new
finisher.
Hornswoggle was shown eating cheese, Natalya walked by, he
said cut the cheese, she let out flatulence, this angle sucks! Hornswoggle then
said cottage cheese referring to the weight of Vicky Guerrero, sure B.A. Star.
Long said that Swagger was going to have a match, Swagger responded by saying
that Laurinaitis should run both shows.
They showed a great trailer for the new Rock DVD.
4. United States Championship Match
Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel
I have no idea why this was on the show, it served
absolutely no purpose. Granted they needed to fill time, but they filled it
with this? Swagger hit a big powerbomb, he then hit a splash in the corner,
Gabriel botched a kick in the corner and hit a splash for two. Gabriel hit a
dive to the outside, Swagger locked in the ankle lock and tapped Gabriel out in
3:05. I do not get the point.
**
We then had a new Rock Cena promo, which in principle
revealed this year’s WrestleMania slogan as “once in a life time” good stuff.
5. Ambulance Match
John Cena vs. Kane
I really don’t think that this should have gone on last,
just for tradition sake, a blow off match for a terrible feud like this,
shouldn’t be put over the match for the Heavyweight Championship of the World.
They brawled on the outside as the crowd duel chanted, Kane was near the
entrance of the ambulance, but he kicked Cena off. Cena used the backboard as a
weapon, he proceeded to Irish whip Kane into the steel steps. Kane worked on
Cena in the ring, they exchanged strikes up until the point where Kane hit a
sidewalk slam. Kane came off the top for the chokeslam, Cena caught him, he hit
the five knuckle shuffle and got Kane up for the Attitude Adjustment, but Kane
was able to get off of the shoulders of Cena with an eye poke. Kane locked in
the claw, Cena proceeded to “pass out”. Kane dragged Cena to the outside and
grabbed a conveniently placed wheel chair from under the ring, Cena began to
come to, but Kane applied the claw once again. Cena began to fight back once
more and fired back on Kane, while gasping for air in the most unrealistic way
possible. Kane was rammed into the ambulance, Cena grabbed the wheelchair and
rammed it into the stomach of Kane. Kane was put into the wheelchair and
wheeled into a table, Kane was back out of the wheelchair and used as a weapon.
Cena used a steel chair across the stomach and back of Kane, they proceeded to
fight in the crowd, Kane was thrown over the barricade. Cena asked if he could
get a spot in the Fave Five and hit Kane over the head with a monitor. Cena
rammed the steel steps against the head of Kane, Cena smiled and yelled “do you
want to have some fun?” as he hit Kane with the steps once again. Cena got Kane
up for the Attitude Adjustment and walked up the steps in a great feat of
strength, but Kane got off of Cena’s shoulders and hit a chokeslam through the
table. Kane grabbed a stretcher and Kane dragged Cena for what felt like hours,
until he placed him in the back of the ambulance. Kane attempted to shut the
door, but Cena kicked it open and the slammed the door shut. Cena climbed on
top of the ambulance, Kane followed suit, Kane went for the chokeslam off of
the top, but Cena countered and hit the Attitude Adjustment off of the top.
Cena climbed down and fireman’s carried Kane into the ambulance and shut the
door to win the match in 21:20. I wouldn’t say that the match exceeded my
expectations, but it wasn’t as bad as you could have expected it to be. The
finish was satisfactory and the rest of the match was fine for the most part,
besides the wheelchair spots are didn’t have any major problems with anything.
The best part of the match for me is the fact that this angle has come to an
end and now we can presumably focus on Rock vs. Cena.
** ¾
Bits & Pieces
A Great Edition of
Raw
This week’s Raw, apart from the mainevent which was a
complete and utter train wreck, was the best Raw in months. It contained
everything that you would want in terms of build for Mania, we had a very good
segment between Taker and Hunter, an actual serious and a likeable Cena promo,
plus Jericho vs. Punk was all but confirmed for Mania which can’t be a bad
thing.
The show kicked off with a not so good segment between Cena
and Eve, Cena was actually pretty good in the segment, but the same could not
be said for the material or Eve’s performance. The one thing that astonished me
through the whole segment wasn’t the content, or even what was playing out,
rather it was the fact that the crowd was still chanting for Ryder, which
proves that he could really have something.
Sheamus beat Henry clean, which is great for Sheamus, but
not so good for Henry and his drawing power. R-Truth and Kofi Kingston pinned
the tag team champions of Hunico and Epico, which logically should set up a
championship match, but I am not sure if it will take place.
The Undertaker vs. Triple H segment was good, although
Undertaker did rush some of his delivery and the crowd actually “whated” Taker
which astonished me more and made me sad. It is going to be a cell match, would
should make for great match quality and spectacle, but in terms of logical
progression I can’t see why they didn’t go for a last man standing. The entire
segment became quite magical, after the mentioning of Michaels and the
convincing portion from Taker, where Taker said that Hunter wasn’t as good as
Michaels. This promo will definitely be one of the promo highlights of the
quarter, if not the year.
Bryan regained his victory over Marella in what was
basically a squash and that can only be a good thing. Yes the Santino segment
in the chamber was great, but Bryan is the champion going into Mania, so I had
absolutely no qualms with this.
Then in what will probably be one of the highlights of the
Rock vs. Cena feud, Cena cut a serious promo, devoid of comedy and jokes about
not winning the match. Cena said that he will win the match against Rock,
because Rock left and he has stayed the whole time, which admittedly has become
a stale, washed out and redundant argument. But, in the context of the feud it
was great, John Cena said that he would do it for the few that can call
themselves professional wrestlers.
The segment will definitely leave the Cena character more
likable and although they will almost certainly get a 85-95% reaction for Rock
in Miami, this will probably add great significance to the program.
I don’t really want to go into the mainevent, because it has
been done to death, but it was a train wreck. Jericho won a battle royal
featuring some midcards and some geeks, almost 50% of the workers in the match
got hurt, everyone was taking irresponsible bumps left and right it was just a
disaster. But, we are getting a match between Jericho and Punk, which should
have a good build and it should be a great match, that coupled with Rock vs.
Cena, Triple H vs. Undertaker and Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus should make for five
weeks of good to great programming.
Next Week’s Issue
Next week we will be covering the All Together 2 show, WWE
Kayfabe t-shirts, Raw and more! For more on next week’s issue head over to CubedCircleWrestling.blogspot.com.
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